So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
