i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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