when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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