Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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