Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize