For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
