I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
