i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
