I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
