I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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