$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
