two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
