I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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