Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
