Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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