I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I want a musical about memes.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
