i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
