Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
