idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
