just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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