my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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