A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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