My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
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did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
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I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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