youre lurking in front of me
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
