It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
