at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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