Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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