Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
