You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
