Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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