it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I got her a Nickelback box set.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
