You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
