even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize