dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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