We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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