sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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