VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize