yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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