FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
