I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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