I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
