Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
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he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
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