some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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