Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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