Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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