I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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