Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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