i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
