I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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