I saw his package. It spoke to me.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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