I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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