Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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