Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
