Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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