is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
