Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
