I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
