just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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