He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
